AUWins College Football Blog - Week 11

AUWins College Football Blog - Week 11

Screw 2012....THIS Is The End of The World, Man!!!

Week 10 Recap and Notes

So, you still didn't believe after all this time that AUWins can call 'em huh?

After all this time of my loving gifts to you you STILL didn't wanna listen to your gracious giver of all college football knowledge.

And so yet another week went by as you stood in front of the TV...mouth apape...and watched prediction after prediction come true.

Did you take Northwestern over Iowa like I told ya too? Shaaaaaaaaame, shame, shame.

Did my Nebraska buddies take comfort in knowing their beloved shuckers of corn would beat a shellshocked OK squad???

Did you watch Navy take the Waddlin' Hippo and his boys down to the wire like AUWins told you they would (okay, so I DID pick fatso to pull it out, but the luck was actually spinning Navy's way that day!)?

Did you watch the Ducks get it in the arse at Stanford? Told ya the Tree would keep it close....oh yeah, they beat the yellow snot out of the Quacks. Oh well....

Well my friends, as we begin the final home stretch of the season let AUWins tell you this. Starting this weekend some really funky shite is going to start happening to a LOT of favored teams. Rivalries come into play. Games take on conference title implications. This season has been a bubbling volcano waiting for the lid to blow and it starts THIS SATURDAY!!!

Week 11 Key Matchups and Predictions

The Made Up Animal Combo vs The Coonskin Dorks

Who the **** ever came up with a made up animal name like "bearcat"???? What the **** is it even supposed to be or look like???? Does it hibernate in winter like a real bear...or does it bathe itself by licking its fur???

I guess MonsterQuest will be doing a show about the search for the mysterious Bearcat terrorizing the urbanites in Cincy soon.

And for the game....it won't even be close. Noel Devine will most likely be sitting out. He's about 80 percent of their offense. Their D has been pretty lame all season. It's at Cincinnati.

Hideous made-up bearcat animal/monster/whatever-the-f*** win huge.

Godawful Nuts vs The Eyes of The Lamest Bird In The Entire Raptor Family

No one eats or likes buckeyes. You don't even attempt to eat one at Christmas even out of tradition. Their totally gross and totally useless to the modern diet. Yet somehow a team named after a cross between a nut and a bean is supposed to be all that and then some.

Pfffffffffft........

OSU should beat Iowa at home (I don't think they play an away game all season, sheeeeeeesh!!)....and they will. Iowa lost their QB and the one they threw in there last Saturday couldn't get laid with 20 grand in a Texas whorehouse!

OSU by 21 or more. Iowa goes back to it's desolate midwest town to hibernate for the winter.

The Condoms vs The Tree That Fell and EVERYONE Heard It!!!

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwzzzzzaaaaa!!

This is the toughest matchup of the weekend folks. As I've instructed you my dear readers many times on similar type games...stay the hell away from this one if you're betting with real money. Just don't go near it!!!

Stanford is FOR REAL BABY! But they play on the road at USC who has only lost 2 home games in like the past 80 years or something.

Guess who the last team to beat 'em at home was........?

I think for pride and to keep their slim to nothing chance of a Rose Bowl alive the used spunkholders will pull it out. But would I take one over the other for anything meaningful. HELL NO!!

The Fighting Bahrs vs The Definition of Insignificance

Let's get this out of the way so my tide followers won't begin reading this apprehensive about a predicted shocker in Starkvegas. The Turds will win.

But while bama deserves all the credit in the world up to this point for going undefeated...State is going to take them down the wire and it is going to be a repeart of UT. bammer wins it ugly and wins it ohhhhhhhhhhhh so close.

The significance? bammer slips back again to 3 in the polls and begins to get the jitters about it's final games with Auburn and the SECC.

Pitt vs "Will Work For Food" Charlie Weiss

Pitt wins. Weiss continues concentrating on getting his resume out to the NFL heads.

And here is why I'm writing about this game.

You read it here first.

Urban Meyer will become the next head coach at ND.

Yep!!

He's sick of all the BS he's having to take being in the SEC (see Kiffin and Slive) and it's his dream job. It's all just too perfectly timed.

Remember who you heard it from first as not just speculation....but as a point of fact!

The Auburn Tigers vs Thieves, Thugs, and Rapers of Small Children

I will not predict the outcome of this game. The reason being that I have never bet on this game nor given a prediction of it's outcome for fear/superstition that it will hurt my beloved Tigers' chances.

But let me tell you of the Sodom and Gomorrah that lies to the northeast of Atlanta. They practice the Black Arts over there. Women do things that God instructed us as his creatures not to do!! Men do even WORSE things over in that place!!!

They can't keep any pets around that city because the students over in Athens, GA keep kidnapping them and sacrificing them to the god Baal!!!

And for all this wickedness....judgement is coming you fans of THUGA!!

Judgement is coming.

I wish all of you the very best of weekends and pray for your safety if you travel anywhere. Enjoy this final stretch of the best time of the year and may your team win......unless your a Georgia fan and then I wish nothing but pain and heartache on you!!

BLEHHHHH!!