AUWins AUsome College Football Blog Week 9
This Week - The World's Largest Outdoor Collection Of Buffoons All Gather 'Round
Intro and Recap of Week 8
Good day to all of the loyal readers and followers of the AUWins blog.
Well, as you may have wondered after reading last week's entry good friends, something happened to AUWins. I was kidnapped by hooded liberals from Washington and in my place, Al Gore, Master of Disaster, wrote a FAKE blog with my name on it. THE NERVE!!! AUWins killed all of his would be kidnappers and sacked Al but not before he had put his rubbish out there for all to see under my good name.
Silly predictions such as Mizzou hanging close with Texas, and Rich Rod beating JoePa turned out to be just like all of Al's other outrageous predictions about the earth getting all hot and bothered. I will give Al some credit though for his other predictions which were pretty spot on.
I apologize for this inconvenience and promise that it will not happen again. I flew Al up to Antartica to exeperience global warming. He will be getting back to us soon to let us know just how hot it is up there now.
Week 9 Insights and Predictions
This is the week during the season where there is a lull in the intensity of the matchups. A couple here and there to make the weekend interesting...but predominantly a lighter weekend than most. That being said.....
The Extras From Deliverance vs. Da Bulls
Why bother with this game? I would normally say to take W. VA easily in this given how badly South Fla. looked last week. But I think that this game stays close through the fourth quarter. The bulls have a pretty decent team there and the game IS at S. FL. Can West VA pull out another sphincter episode? Okay...I'll give the Appalachian Rednecks another close V.
The Gay Turds vs The Toiletlappers
Hey, it's really the biggest game of the week if you live in the south. Not because the series has been a barn burner or anything lately, but because the rest of us can sit back and make jokes about how foolish both fanbases look making arses out of themselves at the biggest excuse for drinking known in America short of the Super Bowl.
Trivia fact: That vaunted hall of learning, uga, actually CANCELS classes on the Friday before the game every year so the "students" (cough! cough!!) can go to the game. Now there's academic integrity for ya!!
Seriously speaking, I honestly believe the cards are stacking up for THUGA this year. God's Most Beloved Son has been playing not only like a mere mortal this season....but just plain, downright AWFUL the past couple of weeks. TWO (2) pick sixes against Miss State last week??? Are you joking???????
THUGA had last week off. It's just setting up for a huge game for the mutts.
I think UGay gives the lizards everything they want and more....and wins. Yep! You heard it right here.
Colt McCoy vs "I'M A MAN!!! I'M FORTY!!"
If not for the Texas QB, the steers are an average offense with a really good defense. Okie State is a very potent offensive weapon....WITH THEIR LEADING WR WHO THEY DON'T HAVE ANYMORE!
I think we'll see UT start slow like they have every game, but it will be their D who will dominate and by the second half. On paper it should be a good, close game....but I think you'll see Texas have THAT breakout game in the second half and put it on "I'm a man!"
Straight Outta Compton vs Guys Who Actually Lived In Compton
(For those readers who are not as hip as AUWins (ha!) that is a hip hop reference for USC vs Oregon)
I think this will be the best matchup of the weekend! Oregon has looked really, really good ever since their opening season rendition of Ali vs Holmes at Boise State. What does this prove? It proves that when a coach gets rid of a thug...he only HELPS his program!!! Let that be a lesson to all of college football.
It's AT Oregon, and while AUWins has never been anywhere near the place, the reputation of their stadium precedes them. I realize that this Barkley kid has performed outstandingly on the road this year...but Oregon knows just how huge this game could be them and their bid for the Rose Bowl. I think it will close through 3....but in the fourth Oregon and their home crowd will tear it open and (here is the big AUWins prediction for the week!) win by 14!!
Tigger The Cuddly Tiger vs The Racists
Of all my predictions this year, one of the most dead on accurate was last week's prognastication that not only would lsu cover...but that the game in baton rouge would be over quickly and get ugly.
I've never been so sick to my stomach for being right in my life!
AU fans keep hoping that this hard turn southwards for Auburn ends that upcoming weekend. So far it hasn't. But while ol' piss has begun to play somewhat better in the last few contests, Auburn is just DUE!! Major due!!!
If my dear readers want an inside slant on an upset to make up some points/money this weekend, take Auburn to win. There have been a couple of developments behind the scenes this past week including the decision to let El Toro The Bull out of his cage (he had a huge game against the Asshat last weekend), and the defense will be clicking along much better than recently.
Well, that's a wrap for yet another glorious upcoming weekend dear friends. Keep safe and enjoy this most wonderful time of the year. Til next week, God bless and WAR EAGLE!!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Friday, October 23, 2009
AUWins AUsome College Football Blog - Week 8
AUWins AUsome College Football Blog - Week 8
This Week: MAYHEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"No one here gets out alive....." Jim Morrison
Greetings all of my loyal and great readers!! I know you missed your weekly AUWins blog last week and so did I (writing it)...but AUWins has been a busy little boy at work and there was just not enough time to give you, my beloved followers, the time and insight that you have to come to expect of this AUsome blog!
But that was yesterday. On to this weekend's allotment. And ya better have your helmets strapped on tight...dear reader!
Week 8 Matchups and Predictions
Despite what you are about to read in this blog, let me state for the official record that this week will be like a nuclear bomb going off in the middle of the college football world. Continents will shift. Animals will turn against one another. The fish of the sea will rise up and invade all of us land dwellers. Get the point?
By late Saturday night, because of the matchups we have this weekend, chaos will reign supreme in land of college football.....and especially the BCS standings.
The Ga Tech Bumblebees vs The University of Snootyville
If you're a Tech fan this game scares the ever-loving bejesus out of you. Tech has not won AT Virginia since 1990!!!! That's 20 frickin' years ago!!!! No matter how bad VA may have been in past years or how good Tech was...the Cavaliers always found some way to beat the Jackets in what may be the tamest stadium in the country outside of an Ivy League school (of which some may actually consider Virginia if you ever met a grad from there...but I digress).
The difference maker for Tech this time in Charlottsville is their head coach. Paul Johnson will literally WILL this team to victory. He won't let them keep making mistakes or playing badly if they start out that way. Tech will win...but Al and his boys will keep this game uncomfortably close throughout.
Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeechigan vs The Ol' Cumudgeon
This is the weekend Joepa gets exposed in a major way. They already lost at home to a so so Iowa squad. Michigan isn't a great team by any stretch...but Lil' Richie will outrun and outfox the worlds' oldest living man and beat the cowardly lions in the Big House.
Joepa will try to strangle a ref after the game but no one will admonish him because "that's just good ol' Joe".
The Kurmson Taaaaaahd vs Father and Son Renunion
I've actually heard some media mouths trying to raise the spectre of Monty's defense making this a game.
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Bama wins this one like they have all the others with defense and a great running game that will have the howling doggies gasping for breath by quarter 4. It will be a 14 point spread minimum.
The Green Trojans vs Clarence Birdseye
I am at a crossroads for this one. One of the more interesting picks for this weekend because while Iowa is undefeated....nobody's buying what they're sellin'. State ain't that dam bad either and the game is AT state.
I'll give the Eyes of the Sacred Hawk a lean for being undefeated and hopefully ready to defend their honor...but I don't like it!
The Fighting Roosters vs The Naval Officers No One Ever Heard Of Before
Why am I even mentioning this game? Because an old high school chum who has followed the pretend USC all his life questioned me after week 5 as to why I never mention them.
Well.....I'm mentioning ya now!
The Horny Toads vs The Guys In White Shirts and Black Ties Who Ride Bikes and Knock On Your Door
This is toughest pick of the week dear friends. I don't think anyone could say one way or the other for sure who'll take this. I believe that since it is being played in the house that Joseph Smith built (okay not really but you know what I mean), and BYU has already had their one ugly loss this season....The cult from Utah will prevail and take the frogs out of any BCS talk.
But Lord I wouldn't bet any of my own money on it......
The Steers vs The Fake Tigers From Mizzou
Why did I bring this one up? Because if you follow AUWins' blog you know that every once in a while I try to throw something your way that no one else is even watching out for. I'm not sayin'.....I'm just sayin'......
In all seriousness though, UT will pull it out. But I believe this one will be really close in the fourth quarter. Should be fun to watch.
The Real Tigers of College Football vs The Game's Biggest Asshat
How my mighty and beloved Tigers have fallen. Sigh........................
My heart says no way they can be as bad as they've been the last two weeks and that the mighty men of Auburn will come out and play like the glorious champions they are and we will all sing and dance and throw lillies at each other as we celebrate...................
Sh*t.
Ain't gonna happen.
Auburn is so thin on defense and so bad in the fundamentals (like say...tackling) that while LSWho may not be anywhere near number 9 in the nation....AU will certainly make them LOOK like a top ten team tomorrow night in that godforsaken piss hole called death valley.
If you're betting on the game with money...take an insider's word for it and take lsu and the line. It will get ugly and get even uglier. AUWins has rented a couple of pornos to watch once the game is out of hand (by the second quarter).
YAY!
I hope that all of you enjoy your 8th week of college football as much as AUWins will. Be safe if you travel...be drunk if you don't.
Let's get this thing done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This Week: MAYHEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"No one here gets out alive....." Jim Morrison
Greetings all of my loyal and great readers!! I know you missed your weekly AUWins blog last week and so did I (writing it)...but AUWins has been a busy little boy at work and there was just not enough time to give you, my beloved followers, the time and insight that you have to come to expect of this AUsome blog!
But that was yesterday. On to this weekend's allotment. And ya better have your helmets strapped on tight...dear reader!
Week 8 Matchups and Predictions
Despite what you are about to read in this blog, let me state for the official record that this week will be like a nuclear bomb going off in the middle of the college football world. Continents will shift. Animals will turn against one another. The fish of the sea will rise up and invade all of us land dwellers. Get the point?
By late Saturday night, because of the matchups we have this weekend, chaos will reign supreme in land of college football.....and especially the BCS standings.
The Ga Tech Bumblebees vs The University of Snootyville
If you're a Tech fan this game scares the ever-loving bejesus out of you. Tech has not won AT Virginia since 1990!!!! That's 20 frickin' years ago!!!! No matter how bad VA may have been in past years or how good Tech was...the Cavaliers always found some way to beat the Jackets in what may be the tamest stadium in the country outside of an Ivy League school (of which some may actually consider Virginia if you ever met a grad from there...but I digress).
The difference maker for Tech this time in Charlottsville is their head coach. Paul Johnson will literally WILL this team to victory. He won't let them keep making mistakes or playing badly if they start out that way. Tech will win...but Al and his boys will keep this game uncomfortably close throughout.
Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeechigan vs The Ol' Cumudgeon
This is the weekend Joepa gets exposed in a major way. They already lost at home to a so so Iowa squad. Michigan isn't a great team by any stretch...but Lil' Richie will outrun and outfox the worlds' oldest living man and beat the cowardly lions in the Big House.
Joepa will try to strangle a ref after the game but no one will admonish him because "that's just good ol' Joe".
The Kurmson Taaaaaahd vs Father and Son Renunion
I've actually heard some media mouths trying to raise the spectre of Monty's defense making this a game.
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Bama wins this one like they have all the others with defense and a great running game that will have the howling doggies gasping for breath by quarter 4. It will be a 14 point spread minimum.
The Green Trojans vs Clarence Birdseye
I am at a crossroads for this one. One of the more interesting picks for this weekend because while Iowa is undefeated....nobody's buying what they're sellin'. State ain't that dam bad either and the game is AT state.
I'll give the Eyes of the Sacred Hawk a lean for being undefeated and hopefully ready to defend their honor...but I don't like it!
The Fighting Roosters vs The Naval Officers No One Ever Heard Of Before
Why am I even mentioning this game? Because an old high school chum who has followed the pretend USC all his life questioned me after week 5 as to why I never mention them.
Well.....I'm mentioning ya now!
The Horny Toads vs The Guys In White Shirts and Black Ties Who Ride Bikes and Knock On Your Door
This is toughest pick of the week dear friends. I don't think anyone could say one way or the other for sure who'll take this. I believe that since it is being played in the house that Joseph Smith built (okay not really but you know what I mean), and BYU has already had their one ugly loss this season....The cult from Utah will prevail and take the frogs out of any BCS talk.
But Lord I wouldn't bet any of my own money on it......
The Steers vs The Fake Tigers From Mizzou
Why did I bring this one up? Because if you follow AUWins' blog you know that every once in a while I try to throw something your way that no one else is even watching out for. I'm not sayin'.....I'm just sayin'......
In all seriousness though, UT will pull it out. But I believe this one will be really close in the fourth quarter. Should be fun to watch.
The Real Tigers of College Football vs The Game's Biggest Asshat
How my mighty and beloved Tigers have fallen. Sigh........................
My heart says no way they can be as bad as they've been the last two weeks and that the mighty men of Auburn will come out and play like the glorious champions they are and we will all sing and dance and throw lillies at each other as we celebrate...................
Sh*t.
Ain't gonna happen.
Auburn is so thin on defense and so bad in the fundamentals (like say...tackling) that while LSWho may not be anywhere near number 9 in the nation....AU will certainly make them LOOK like a top ten team tomorrow night in that godforsaken piss hole called death valley.
If you're betting on the game with money...take an insider's word for it and take lsu and the line. It will get ugly and get even uglier. AUWins has rented a couple of pornos to watch once the game is out of hand (by the second quarter).
YAY!
I hope that all of you enjoy your 8th week of college football as much as AUWins will. Be safe if you travel...be drunk if you don't.
Let's get this thing done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, October 16, 2009
AUWins AUsome College Football Blog Week 7
AUWins Is Taking the Week Off
He will return next week (Week 8) with another exciting chapter in the AUWins AUsome College Football Blog!!!
Take care my fair readers...and enjoy this upcoming weekend!!!
Peace Out!
He will return next week (Week 8) with another exciting chapter in the AUWins AUsome College Football Blog!!!
Take care my fair readers...and enjoy this upcoming weekend!!!
Peace Out!
Friday, October 9, 2009
AUWins AUsome College Football Blog Week 6
Week 6: BOOLA BOOLA BOOLA Wacka Wacka Wacka!!!!!
Let The Craziness Begin!!
Weekly Recap of The Previous Week's Games
The Hapless Canines vs The Worlds Luckiest Assclown
Let me just recap last week's game between THUGA and the Coonasses by saying this...Georgia's got problems. Major problems!! What should have been a blowout at YOUR house of a marginal at best team in lswho turned into one of the dullest and ugliest performances between two teams in a long time in the SEC. I saw two lsu players throwing up on the field. I heard thousands of college football fans throwing up in the stadium or at home watching that sickening mess of a football game.
Chokelohoma vs Low Tropical Depression
Went down exactly the way I told my fair readers it would...didn't it? Frankly Miami should never have struggled with Stoops Troops at all but a win is a win is a win.
The Old Man On Mount Nittany vs Illinois
Why am I even bringing this one up?? Because AUwins accidentally clicked on Illinois while making his picks and was shocked and dismayed to discover the next morning the horrific mistake. Cost AUwins 5 confidence points and there were things broken in AUwins' house that day.
The Cougars vs The Pony's
You're sh*ttin' me right??? Game doesn't even start until something like 4:00 in the friggin' morning so AUwins and his loyal readers can't even follow the dam game...then I find out the next morning that June Jones actually beat the upstarts from Houston. I shoulda known better. That's what I hate about having to pick these WAC and Mountain West teams. They all lose after a few wins because they are small time and can't handle success!! All these small conferences should be banned from playing football!!!
And finally........
Remember this line from last week's blog re: the Semen Holes?
"This will be Bobby's last year. He will announce his retirement in the coming weeks before the end of the season."
Am I Nostra f*ckin' Damus or what people???!!!! hee heee
Okay so on to the games of Week 6.
Week 6 Games of Note
The Roosters With Amazingly Big Balls vs The Catholics
Va Tech benefitted greatly from it's opening game with bama. They learned their weaknesses from the outset and were able to work them out in the first several games after that while accumulating W's. The "other" catholic school NOT known as notre dame has played really good defense...but their offense is pretty godawful to watch. It's at Lame Stadium (the most overrated college gameday experience in the nation...what's with the key shaking???) and I just don't think The Boys of The Inquisition can matchup for four quarters with Frank "Don't Pay Attention To That Flap of Skin Hanging From My Left Jaw" Beamer.
The Roosters With Removed Testicles win it by at least 1o.
The Crimson Elephants vs The Yeeeeeeeeeee Hawwwwwwwwws
Okay so now Houston Nutt can go back to coaching from the only way he knows...underdog. But don't get any ideas that Jevon Snead is suddenly going to get hot against a defense like the tahd's. It will be the closest game to date for bama, but they still won't be sweatin' it in the fourth quarter. Tide by 13.
The Swampwater Coonasses vs God's Most Beloved Son
I don't mean to be or sound sacrilegious, but while I don't have anything personal against Tebow this whole 2 weeks of nothing but "The Concussion" talk has been the worst example of sports journalism (cough!! cough!!!) ever. No one knows how to simply let the f***n thing go!! ENOUGH ALREADY!!! DAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!
Tebow will play (of course) and will be limited and inefficient. Once again The Asshat gets a HUGE break by having UF in HIS house AT NIGHT and lswho will play just well enough to pull a squeaker out.
Prediction: Tebow will make several critical and uncharacteristic errors in this game to give lsu points. They'll yank him some time in the second half and put in that other kid but it will be too little too late.
* A side note: I'd love to be wrong here. As an AU fan I need Les to lose. But I never takes sides against a man THAT lucky in his career again.
Games To Keep An Eye On
The School of the Overhyped vs The Cheesemakers
OSU at home. Should be a straight up win...right? I think this game will come down to the last possession. I think Wisconsin has looked better than the Butt Eyes so far...but I'm leaning towards a slight homefield advantage here with Tressel winning it by 3 or less.
Wolverines vs Hawkeyes (I'm too worn out to make up a name for these two)
Hawkeyes are undefeated....but God do they look bad. Just like their swampwater maggot lookalikes in baton rouge. Michigan has done well this season to be in every game. However this is a night game at Iowa. I think it's close but I'll give the 'eyes the W at home in burner.
The Tigers Of The Plains vs The Menu at Dreamland
I've never been happier to be wrong than I was last week in picking UT over my Tigers. I have to say though, that even at 5-0 AU's defense and special teams are still waaaaaaay too shaky to be predicting road wins against good opponents. Arky isn't a solid team but they got that giant of a QB who's already passed for something like 8,000 TD's this year. My Tigers are depleted at linebacker and last week against Johnathan InCromptonence they looked really bad on some plays.
It's a shootout down on the farm. I believe that AU's D is a little bit better than Arky's and our O is just a tad bit more balanced with our running game. I'll try not to jinx my boys but will take AU by 3 in a heartstopper.
I hope all of you whether you're travelling to your favorite team's stadium this weekend, or sitting back on the couch slamming brewskies all day, have a great one and be safe out there you crazy kids!!!
Til next week.....
Let The Craziness Begin!!
Weekly Recap of The Previous Week's Games
The Hapless Canines vs The Worlds Luckiest Assclown
Let me just recap last week's game between THUGA and the Coonasses by saying this...Georgia's got problems. Major problems!! What should have been a blowout at YOUR house of a marginal at best team in lswho turned into one of the dullest and ugliest performances between two teams in a long time in the SEC. I saw two lsu players throwing up on the field. I heard thousands of college football fans throwing up in the stadium or at home watching that sickening mess of a football game.
Chokelohoma vs Low Tropical Depression
Went down exactly the way I told my fair readers it would...didn't it? Frankly Miami should never have struggled with Stoops Troops at all but a win is a win is a win.
The Old Man On Mount Nittany vs Illinois
Why am I even bringing this one up?? Because AUwins accidentally clicked on Illinois while making his picks and was shocked and dismayed to discover the next morning the horrific mistake. Cost AUwins 5 confidence points and there were things broken in AUwins' house that day.
The Cougars vs The Pony's
You're sh*ttin' me right??? Game doesn't even start until something like 4:00 in the friggin' morning so AUwins and his loyal readers can't even follow the dam game...then I find out the next morning that June Jones actually beat the upstarts from Houston. I shoulda known better. That's what I hate about having to pick these WAC and Mountain West teams. They all lose after a few wins because they are small time and can't handle success!! All these small conferences should be banned from playing football!!!
And finally........
Remember this line from last week's blog re: the Semen Holes?
"This will be Bobby's last year. He will announce his retirement in the coming weeks before the end of the season."
Am I Nostra f*ckin' Damus or what people???!!!! hee heee
Okay so on to the games of Week 6.
Week 6 Games of Note
The Roosters With Amazingly Big Balls vs The Catholics
Va Tech benefitted greatly from it's opening game with bama. They learned their weaknesses from the outset and were able to work them out in the first several games after that while accumulating W's. The "other" catholic school NOT known as notre dame has played really good defense...but their offense is pretty godawful to watch. It's at Lame Stadium (the most overrated college gameday experience in the nation...what's with the key shaking???) and I just don't think The Boys of The Inquisition can matchup for four quarters with Frank "Don't Pay Attention To That Flap of Skin Hanging From My Left Jaw" Beamer.
The Roosters With Removed Testicles win it by at least 1o.
The Crimson Elephants vs The Yeeeeeeeeeee Hawwwwwwwwws
Okay so now Houston Nutt can go back to coaching from the only way he knows...underdog. But don't get any ideas that Jevon Snead is suddenly going to get hot against a defense like the tahd's. It will be the closest game to date for bama, but they still won't be sweatin' it in the fourth quarter. Tide by 13.
The Swampwater Coonasses vs God's Most Beloved Son
I don't mean to be or sound sacrilegious, but while I don't have anything personal against Tebow this whole 2 weeks of nothing but "The Concussion" talk has been the worst example of sports journalism (cough!! cough!!!) ever. No one knows how to simply let the f***n thing go!! ENOUGH ALREADY!!! DAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!
Tebow will play (of course) and will be limited and inefficient. Once again The Asshat gets a HUGE break by having UF in HIS house AT NIGHT and lswho will play just well enough to pull a squeaker out.
Prediction: Tebow will make several critical and uncharacteristic errors in this game to give lsu points. They'll yank him some time in the second half and put in that other kid but it will be too little too late.
* A side note: I'd love to be wrong here. As an AU fan I need Les to lose. But I never takes sides against a man THAT lucky in his career again.
Games To Keep An Eye On
The School of the Overhyped vs The Cheesemakers
OSU at home. Should be a straight up win...right? I think this game will come down to the last possession. I think Wisconsin has looked better than the Butt Eyes so far...but I'm leaning towards a slight homefield advantage here with Tressel winning it by 3 or less.
Wolverines vs Hawkeyes (I'm too worn out to make up a name for these two)
Hawkeyes are undefeated....but God do they look bad. Just like their swampwater maggot lookalikes in baton rouge. Michigan has done well this season to be in every game. However this is a night game at Iowa. I think it's close but I'll give the 'eyes the W at home in burner.
The Tigers Of The Plains vs The Menu at Dreamland
I've never been happier to be wrong than I was last week in picking UT over my Tigers. I have to say though, that even at 5-0 AU's defense and special teams are still waaaaaaay too shaky to be predicting road wins against good opponents. Arky isn't a solid team but they got that giant of a QB who's already passed for something like 8,000 TD's this year. My Tigers are depleted at linebacker and last week against Johnathan InCromptonence they looked really bad on some plays.
It's a shootout down on the farm. I believe that AU's D is a little bit better than Arky's and our O is just a tad bit more balanced with our running game. I'll try not to jinx my boys but will take AU by 3 in a heartstopper.
I hope all of you whether you're travelling to your favorite team's stadium this weekend, or sitting back on the couch slamming brewskies all day, have a great one and be safe out there you crazy kids!!!
Til next week.....
Friday, October 2, 2009
AUWins AUsome College Football Blog Week 5
This Week: Hammer Meets Nail!!!!
Hello again all my wonderful readers out there in the college football world. This week's blog will be somewhat short and sweet. Why you may ask? Well, because AUWins has too much to do at work and his Friday lunch is being cut short so I don't have a helluva lotta time! HA!
Let's have a quick recap of last week then look ahead to week 5's exciting line up.
Week 4 Recap and Learnings
Scalphunters vs Bulls
Okay, so who out there actually PREDICTED this one??? Are you JOKING??!!! For the second straight week in a row, Bowden's boys threw up the biggest upset...except this time it was by LOSING to USF who was playing their backup QB at FSU. This will be Bobby's last year. He will announce his retirement in the coming weeks before the end of the season.
LSWho vs Poor Man's Bulldogs
I sincerely believe that Les "The Mess" Miles has a signed pact with Mephostopheles. Asshat can't really coach and yet he always has just enough talent to win him games like this past week's against bottom dweller Miss State. Take one Chad Jones out of the game, and Miss State actually wins by 14.
The Low Tropical Depression vs Roosters Suddenly With BALLS!!
Never seen bad weather so totally take a good team out of their game plan like it did Miami. That was horrible!! Cost AUWins a lot of points too in my pickem!
Iowa vs The Old Man On Mount Nittany
Was anybody surprised Penn State was yet again shown for being just some average lumbering Big 10 team?
Week 5 Games To Watch
Oklahoma Laters vs Low Tropical Depression
Worst thing that coulda happened to OK was for Va Tech to beat Miami senseless in Blacksburg. I think OK is a good team with an excellent defense, and this will NOT be a blowout. But I believe Miami playing at home will win this one and put Chokelahoma's season on ice in the first weekend in October.
The Mangy Mutts vs The Asshat
Les Miles won't win AT Athens with THAT team he showed the first 3 games. Mark Richt will have some of the problems corrected that THUGA has had in week 5 and I'm actually guessing that it could get rather ugly for the coonasses. The leghumpers win by a sizable margin (14+) and the grumbling in Baton Rooooooooooooooge starts to become audible.
The Condoms vs The Leftist Commies
Don't even think that Cal has a shot here. USC lost their only game of the season because of an injured QB who couldn't play. He's back and USC comes out this weekend and MAKES A STATEMENT! Mark it down. Cal will slither under the nearest rock after this ass beating!
The Pachyderms vs The Toothless Mountain Lions
As much as I dislike my arch rival, their defense is probably the best in the nation and their offense is much better than expected. Rich Brooks will have a brain aneurysm in the 2nd quarter when bammer blocks a punt and runs it in for 7 more to make it 49 - 0.
The Glorious Heroes Of Auburn vs The Extras From "Deliverance"
I love my Tigers more than many things in life (sorry Ethel, you were beautiful), but I have a BAAAAAAAAAAAD feeling about their first road trip up in THEM THAR HILLS!! I believe UT's defense will stiffen up and force AU to go to the air. While Auburn will have some success on offense, my fear as a fan that it will not be enough to overcome what is one of the worst special teams units in the country.
I have never wanted to be more wrong...but I believe AU's special teams gives UT 10 point and loses by 3. AUWins will be, for one day at least, AULoses.
Well there you have it friends. I hope that you all have a great, relaxing and safe college football weekend. Enjoy all the games and after this Saturday, the college football landscape will be consirably changed with many overrated teams losing for the first, or even SECOND time.
See you next week!
Hello again all my wonderful readers out there in the college football world. This week's blog will be somewhat short and sweet. Why you may ask? Well, because AUWins has too much to do at work and his Friday lunch is being cut short so I don't have a helluva lotta time! HA!
Let's have a quick recap of last week then look ahead to week 5's exciting line up.
Week 4 Recap and Learnings
Scalphunters vs Bulls
Okay, so who out there actually PREDICTED this one??? Are you JOKING??!!! For the second straight week in a row, Bowden's boys threw up the biggest upset...except this time it was by LOSING to USF who was playing their backup QB at FSU. This will be Bobby's last year. He will announce his retirement in the coming weeks before the end of the season.
LSWho vs Poor Man's Bulldogs
I sincerely believe that Les "The Mess" Miles has a signed pact with Mephostopheles. Asshat can't really coach and yet he always has just enough talent to win him games like this past week's against bottom dweller Miss State. Take one Chad Jones out of the game, and Miss State actually wins by 14.
The Low Tropical Depression vs Roosters Suddenly With BALLS!!
Never seen bad weather so totally take a good team out of their game plan like it did Miami. That was horrible!! Cost AUWins a lot of points too in my pickem!
Iowa vs The Old Man On Mount Nittany
Was anybody surprised Penn State was yet again shown for being just some average lumbering Big 10 team?
Week 5 Games To Watch
Oklahoma Laters vs Low Tropical Depression
Worst thing that coulda happened to OK was for Va Tech to beat Miami senseless in Blacksburg. I think OK is a good team with an excellent defense, and this will NOT be a blowout. But I believe Miami playing at home will win this one and put Chokelahoma's season on ice in the first weekend in October.
The Mangy Mutts vs The Asshat
Les Miles won't win AT Athens with THAT team he showed the first 3 games. Mark Richt will have some of the problems corrected that THUGA has had in week 5 and I'm actually guessing that it could get rather ugly for the coonasses. The leghumpers win by a sizable margin (14+) and the grumbling in Baton Rooooooooooooooge starts to become audible.
The Condoms vs The Leftist Commies
Don't even think that Cal has a shot here. USC lost their only game of the season because of an injured QB who couldn't play. He's back and USC comes out this weekend and MAKES A STATEMENT! Mark it down. Cal will slither under the nearest rock after this ass beating!
The Pachyderms vs The Toothless Mountain Lions
As much as I dislike my arch rival, their defense is probably the best in the nation and their offense is much better than expected. Rich Brooks will have a brain aneurysm in the 2nd quarter when bammer blocks a punt and runs it in for 7 more to make it 49 - 0.
The Glorious Heroes Of Auburn vs The Extras From "Deliverance"
I love my Tigers more than many things in life (sorry Ethel, you were beautiful), but I have a BAAAAAAAAAAAD feeling about their first road trip up in THEM THAR HILLS!! I believe UT's defense will stiffen up and force AU to go to the air. While Auburn will have some success on offense, my fear as a fan that it will not be enough to overcome what is one of the worst special teams units in the country.
I have never wanted to be more wrong...but I believe AU's special teams gives UT 10 point and loses by 3. AUWins will be, for one day at least, AULoses.
Well there you have it friends. I hope that you all have a great, relaxing and safe college football weekend. Enjoy all the games and after this Saturday, the college football landscape will be consirably changed with many overrated teams losing for the first, or even SECOND time.
See you next week!
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