AUWins AUsome College Football Blog Week 6

Week 6: BOOLA BOOLA BOOLA Wacka Wacka Wacka!!!!!

Let The Craziness Begin!!

Weekly Recap of The Previous Week's Games

The Hapless Canines vs The Worlds Luckiest Assclown

Let me just recap last week's game between THUGA and the Coonasses by saying this...Georgia's got problems. Major problems!! What should have been a blowout at YOUR house of a marginal at best team in lswho turned into one of the dullest and ugliest performances between two teams in a long time in the SEC. I saw two lsu players throwing up on the field. I heard thousands of college football fans throwing up in the stadium or at home watching that sickening mess of a football game.

Chokelohoma vs Low Tropical Depression

Went down exactly the way I told my fair readers it would...didn't it? Frankly Miami should never have struggled with Stoops Troops at all but a win is a win is a win.

The Old Man On Mount Nittany vs Illinois

Why am I even bringing this one up?? Because AUwins accidentally clicked on Illinois while making his picks and was shocked and dismayed to discover the next morning the horrific mistake. Cost AUwins 5 confidence points and there were things broken in AUwins' house that day.

The Cougars vs The Pony's

You're sh*ttin' me right??? Game doesn't even start until something like 4:00 in the friggin' morning so AUwins and his loyal readers can't even follow the dam game...then I find out the next morning that June Jones actually beat the upstarts from Houston. I shoulda known better. That's what I hate about having to pick these WAC and Mountain West teams. They all lose after a few wins because they are small time and can't handle success!! All these small conferences should be banned from playing football!!!

And finally........

Remember this line from last week's blog re: the Semen Holes?

"This will be Bobby's last year. He will announce his retirement in the coming weeks before the end of the season."

Am I Nostra f*ckin' Damus or what people???!!!! hee heee

Okay so on to the games of Week 6.

Week 6 Games of Note

The Roosters With Amazingly Big Balls vs The Catholics

Va Tech benefitted greatly from it's opening game with bama. They learned their weaknesses from the outset and were able to work them out in the first several games after that while accumulating W's. The "other" catholic school NOT known as notre dame has played really good defense...but their offense is pretty godawful to watch. It's at Lame Stadium (the most overrated college gameday experience in the nation...what's with the key shaking???) and I just don't think The Boys of The Inquisition can matchup for four quarters with Frank "Don't Pay Attention To That Flap of Skin Hanging From My Left Jaw" Beamer.

The Roosters With Removed Testicles win it by at least 1o.

The Crimson Elephants vs The Yeeeeeeeeeee Hawwwwwwwwws

Okay so now Houston Nutt can go back to coaching from the only way he knows...underdog. But don't get any ideas that Jevon Snead is suddenly going to get hot against a defense like the tahd's. It will be the closest game to date for bama, but they still won't be sweatin' it in the fourth quarter. Tide by 13.

The Swampwater Coonasses vs God's Most Beloved Son

I don't mean to be or sound sacrilegious, but while I don't have anything personal against Tebow this whole 2 weeks of nothing but "The Concussion" talk has been the worst example of sports journalism (cough!! cough!!!) ever. No one knows how to simply let the f***n thing go!! ENOUGH ALREADY!!! DAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!

Tebow will play (of course) and will be limited and inefficient. Once again The Asshat gets a HUGE break by having UF in HIS house AT NIGHT and lswho will play just well enough to pull a squeaker out.

Prediction: Tebow will make several critical and uncharacteristic errors in this game to give lsu points. They'll yank him some time in the second half and put in that other kid but it will be too little too late.

* A side note: I'd love to be wrong here. As an AU fan I need Les to lose. But I never takes sides against a man THAT lucky in his career again.

Games To Keep An Eye On

The School of the Overhyped vs The Cheesemakers

OSU at home. Should be a straight up win...right? I think this game will come down to the last possession. I think Wisconsin has looked better than the Butt Eyes so far...but I'm leaning towards a slight homefield advantage here with Tressel winning it by 3 or less.

Wolverines vs Hawkeyes (I'm too worn out to make up a name for these two)

Hawkeyes are undefeated....but God do they look bad. Just like their swampwater maggot lookalikes in baton rouge. Michigan has done well this season to be in every game. However this is a night game at Iowa. I think it's close but I'll give the 'eyes the W at home in burner.

The Tigers Of The Plains vs The Menu at Dreamland

I've never been happier to be wrong than I was last week in picking UT over my Tigers. I have to say though, that even at 5-0 AU's defense and special teams are still waaaaaaay too shaky to be predicting road wins against good opponents. Arky isn't a solid team but they got that giant of a QB who's already passed for something like 8,000 TD's this year. My Tigers are depleted at linebacker and last week against Johnathan InCromptonence they looked really bad on some plays.

It's a shootout down on the farm. I believe that AU's D is a little bit better than Arky's and our O is just a tad bit more balanced with our running game. I'll try not to jinx my boys but will take AU by 3 in a heartstopper.

I hope all of you whether you're travelling to your favorite team's stadium this weekend, or sitting back on the couch slamming brewskies all day, have a great one and be safe out there you crazy kids!!!

Til next week.....